Deception
by estar9821
Summary: Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Uhura are transported to Earth, 2010, in a complex twist involving Klingons and Romulans.  On Earth they meet an average high school girl named Lauren, who attempts to hide them from the public until they can return home.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh my God!" she shrieked as four sparkling beams of blinding light materialized in front of her car. "What the hell!"

The spotlights coalesced slowly into silhouettes of people, blinking back and forth between particles and beings, before finally settling on the latter. The chilly October wind picked up as four people formed. Three of them softly landed on the grass in front of her Chevy, but the fourth materialized about two feet above the pavement. He seemed to have expected a softer landing, but instead he fell on the asphalt with a loud "Oof!"

One of those who had landed properly rushed to his side, asking "Doctor, are you alright?" She was a shapely woman, African American, with a beautiful voice. The one on the pavement, the Doctor, responded "Yes, yes, I'm alright, just some bruising…where the galaxy are we?"

Shock had silenced the girl until then, but now adrenaline replaced it. "Earth. You're on Earth." She said as calmly as she believed humanly possible. They all turned to stare at her: the black lady, the Doctor (who was rubbing his bottom and grimacing), the blonde one with the air of command about him, and the tall silent one with the dark hair and strange black instrument.

The tall one activated his black machine, which produced a whirring noise, and said "Atmospheric readings seem to confirm her answer, Captain. It appears we have been transported to Earth, circa 2000.

"2010." replied the girl. "Are…are you…Sp – Spock?"

"Affirmative. How do you know who I am?"

"Television."

"Television?" asked the blonde one, Kirk.

_Centuries in the future, on the Starship_ Enterprise_…_

_Captain Kirk gazed across the bridge. All was quiet except for the whirrs and beeps in the background, and the occasional press of a button or shifting of position. Everything was peaceful. However, as Kirk knew from experience, peace never lasted long on the _Enterprise_. He was trained to maintain a frame of mind in which he was prepared for anything, but it was late in the day, and he was tiring fast. Just as he was contemplating retiring for the night, Sulu straightened up and announced "Klingon D7 battle cruiser approaching, Captain."_

_Kirk snapped awake. "We're nowhere near Klingon space. What are they doing here?"_

"_Unknown, Captain." Said Spock drily from the science console. "They do not appear to be attacking. Their shields are down."_

"_Lieutenant Uhura, open hailing frequencies." Kirk ordered._

"_Aye aye, sir. They are responding."_

"_Onscreen."_

_There was an audible gasp on the bridge as a Federation citizen, Commodore Bentley, appeared onscreen, looking slightly strained. Another human was standing next to him, a short, balding man in a Starfleet uniform who appeared to be one of the Commodore's aides. _

"_Commodore Bentley! You have been missing for weeks." Kirk said in surprise and confusion._

"_Greetings, Captain Kirk. Yes, I was kidnapped by the Klingons along with some of my aides and several crew members of the USS Hood, which I was commanding when I was taken."_

"_How did you come to be in the Captain's chair of a Klingon vessel, Commodore?"_

"_We managed to play a little trick on the Klingons who controlled this ship. They are currently locked up in the basement of a Klingon spaceport, if the other Klingons haven't found them already."_

_Kirk was astounded. This was an unprecedented feat, and it would surely be a good exercise in tactics to hear the details._

"_Why don't you beam on over, sir? I'm sure that you and your crew have some stories to tell us." Kirk suggested._

_Bentley shook his head. "The Klingons have developed a revolutionary new warp drive component, and new methods for transmitting subspace signals. They really have been hiding quite a bit from us. Beam over with some science, engineering, and communications personnel."_

"_Yes, sir. I will beam over in ten minutes."_

_The transmission was closed. McCoy, who had entered the bridge without anyone noticing, whistled. "That's a marvelous feat. Escaping the Klingons."_

"_Doctor, Captain, it seems, as you humans would say, 'too good to be true'. I submit that it might be a trap." Spock said, his face impassive._

"_You saw the Commodore the same as I did, Spock. There was no sign of any Klingons. Scan the ship for Klingon life signs."_

"_Scanning." Spock peered into his viewer, the blue light circling his eyes. "No Klingon life signs, only human detected, along with one Andorian."_

"_Well then, this will be an excellent opportunity to study Klingon technology firsthand. Lieutenant Uhura, Spock, McCoy, come with me. Send for Scotty and three other engineers to report to the transporter room immediately."_

"_Yes, sir." Uhura said excitedly. She quickly sent the message, then followed the three men into the turbolift._

_Once in the transporter room, Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Uhura stepped on the transporter pad while Scotty operated the controls. He and the engineering personnel were to beam over next._

"_Engage, Scotty." Ordered Kirk. "See you in a few minutes."_

_Scotty activated the transporter, looking positively ecstatic at the chance to examine alien technology firsthand. "Aye, sir."_

_And the transporter room disappeared from sight. _

_They were trapped in the grainy nothingness of mid-transport for a longer time than usual. Kirk's cloudy consciousness worried that something had gone wrong with the transporter. He heard snippets of Scotty's anxious voice shouting "ion stor-" and "what the" and "losing them", mixed in with a chilly wind and darkness, and the feel of grass underneath his feet. _Grass…now that shouldn't be on a Klingon spaceship…_His physical being was restored, and he heard a female voice shout "What the hell?" and Bones cry "Oof!"_


	2. Chapter 2

That was definitely the longest hiatus I have ever come back from on a story. I just decided I should write another chapter…hope you like it. And hopefully it won't take me two and a half years to write the next one XD.

The usual disclaimers apply.

Somewhere in America, 2010…

"So you know who we are from _television_?" asked Kirk, incredulously.

The girl nodded. Now that she could see them better, she recognized them. The silver Starfleet emblems on their chests. The tricorders. The way they had beamed in. The tips of Spock's ears.

"Yes. You're all from TV. And I don't know yet whether or not I'm dreaming." The girl's eyes were wide, looking over them all, trying to decide what to do. She was shaking slightly. "But honestly, I hope I'm not."

"What is your name?" asked Kirk.

"I'm Lauren."

"I'm – "

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the starship _Enterprise_. The Vulcan is your first officer, Commander Spock. And Lieutenant Uhura, and Doctor McCoy." She said, her lips curling up a bit into a smug smile.

"Okay, that's just creepy." said McCoy. "Now I'm not sure whether_ I'm_ awake or not."

Spock sighed. "I can assure you Doctor, Lauren, you are awake. There is a scientific explanation for all of this. We must attempt to reestablish contact with the _Enterprise_."

Lauren shook her head and backed away from them. "How can I be sure I'm not dreaming…?"

"Here," Kirk said, confused, but being the lady's man he was, always ready to comfort a woman. He took her hand. "Would my hand feel this warm if I wasn't real?"

"I guess not…" the girl blushed, then pulled away and pinched herself, hard. She tugged on her blonde hair, also hard. She winced at the pain, suddenly coming to her senses. She was not dreaming. She had very famous TV characters on her front lawn. Or, at least four people who strongly resembled famous TV characters and were somehow able to materialize from thin air. But wait. Crazy cosplayers couldn't have materialized from thin air. That meant they were real. And if she knew anything from watching _Star Trek_, the crew would want to return to the _Enterprise_ as discreetly as possible…and that meant not waking the neighbors. She had to do something with them. Home wasn't an option; her mom and dad would freak out. "Well, if this is really happening, we have to get out of here. If you are the real crew from TV, people will recognize you. Quick, get in the car."

_We don't have much of an option, I suppose._ Thought Kirk, sliding into the passengers seat. Uhura and McCoy sat down in the backseat. As Spock was entering the car, Lauren tugged on the top of his ear rather forcefully. Remarkably, he showed no reaction other than to turn toward her with a slightly indignant look on his face.

"It didn't come off!" She gasped, astonished, clapping her hand to her mouth. "That proves this is real. You aren't some wacky Nimoy/Spock impersonator…" She added, mumbling.

"I think you owe me an explanation." she ordered, starting the engine and buckling her seatbelt. The others, imitating her movements, slowly followed suit with their own belts. "You know," she mused. "Seat belts really would be a good idea on your ship. With all the tossing and turning during battles. I don't know why you don't have them, being so advanced…anyway, explain."

So they did, as she started driving. They told her of the Klingon ship, the Commodore, and the bizarre travel through time. When Kirk was done relaying the details, Spock spoke up. "I conclude that we have arrived in an alternate universe, the difference being the existence of a television show. I am curious to see what is in common between our universes, and what is different."

"My God, Spock, we're stuck in an alternate universe, and you are just 'curious'!?`" ranted McCoy. "We might never get home, we might have to spend the rest of our lives in hiding, or else become global celebrities! And from what I know of being a global celebrity, it isn't exactly pleasant."

"You're already celebrities in your time." Lauren pointed out, before covering her mouth with her hand and mentally scolding herself. _What if they haven't yet reached that point? You can't give away their futures!_ Luckily, Kirk just nodded.

"Yes, we are, but being a Starfleet officer is very different from being a TV actor. Character. Whatever."

Uhura spoke up. "I'm curious to know more about this TV show. What are we like?"

With no warning, a car swerved into the lane in front of the Chevy, causing Lauren to brake suddenly. They were all propelled forward, but were caught by their seatbelts.

"These really are handy," exclaimed Uhura as Lauren honked the horn and shouted "Fu…fudge!" It took all her self control not to curse in front of her television idols.

" 'Fudge?' " inquired Spock.

Lauren still looked annoyed at the truck in front of them. "A…erm…mild form of a curse word."

"Where exactly are we going?" asked Kirk.

"School. And you guys just might make me late."

"You're a school girl?" McCoy groaned. "Well, of course you're a school girl, you're only…how old are you exactly?"

Lauren was insulted, but responded. "16. I'm a junior in high school." She added, not entirely sure if the others would know what this meant.

_Okay_, Lauren thought. _I've got to hide these people all day. No problem. They can hang out in the shopping center by the school. Oh crap, their clothes…maybe they can hang out in the car then! Okay. Deep breath. I can do this. Kirk and Spock and Uhura and McCoy can just hang in the car. All day. Without getting noticed by the teachers who watch the parking lot sometimes. Fudge a duck. How is this going to work? _

And that was when she remembered she had a physics test as well. Dealing with the _Enterprise_ refugees would interfere with the last-minute study session she had planned on having at school with her friend Kayla. _Screw 2D kinematics, I've got to save the crew of the Enterprise! _Lauren thought, feeling very heroic.

_Meanwhile (by which I mean centuries in the future and in an alternate universe), on the Starship Enterprise…_

"_What do you mean you LOST them? How could there have been an ion storm when we're in interstellar space?" Sulu cried._

"_I've no more idea than you, Mr. Sulu, but I can't find their signatures in the transporter beam anywhere! Can you scan the Klingon ship from the bridge to see if you can find their life signs?" Scotty was frantically trying to regain control of the transporter now that the ion disturbance seemed to have passed._

"_Sorry sir, but the number of life signs on the Klingon ship remains the same." Said Schneider, who had replaced Spock at the science panel and had heard Scotty's suggestion._

_Sulu sighed, rubbing his temples. He had been granted the con while the others were on the Klingon ship, but he had never expected the simple mission to turn into this sort of disaster. He had tried opening hailing frequencies with Commodore Bentley, but the ion storm had disrupted communications as well. His crew was working on getting all the systems up and running, but he had no idea what to do once that happened. Starfleet had never just _lost_ personnel in such a manner before. This was awful. He had to think – he had stayed up way too late last night drinking with Chekov, and had been on duty for the past twelve hours. He was _exhausted. _But he took these opportunities to have the con seriously. He hoped talking to Bentley would provide some answers…_

"_Sir!" Schneider yelled, jolting the occupants of the bridge. "The life signs! There are seven Klingon life signs on the Klingon ship! They weren't there before! Wait…now they're gone. And two of the human ones are as well! They all just disappeared!"_

Well, I think I'll leave it off after that cliffhanger. ^J^


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Woohoo! Update! And it took me less than a month this time. (This is fairly good for me, I'm insanely busy). This chapter has a good deal more crack than usual, just to warn you.

"I am _not_ wearing that!" growled Bones, as Lauren attempted to force a cherry red poncho decorated with lavender flowers over his head.

"I'm really sorry, but we're performing _Singin' In the Rain_ and I got stuck with dragging all the ponchos around. They're all the clothes I have in the car."

"It's not even raining." Kirk pointed out. "We'll still look suspicious."

_Come on, weather gods, please let it start raining! _Lauren sighed, glancing up at the cloudy, windy October sky. "I'll see what else I can nab from the drama department at lunch. I'm a costumer, so I should be able to take stuff without too many people questioning me. Besides, you've got to cover up those Starfleet logos. And the hood is great for Mr. Spock."

"Some costumer." muttered McCoy curtly.

"Hey, give this lovely girl a break. She's giving it all she can." Kirk smiled at Lauren in his practiced way.

Uhura stifled a giggle as Captain Kirk was presented with a giant blue smiley-face covered slicker, and Mr. Spock with a bright yellow poncho adorned with a duck bill above his forehead. He stoically pulled the poncho over his head. Uhura supposed he saw the logic in being covered – but he did look rather cute.

"Mr. Spock, I think you look dashing." she complimented warmly, sliding her hands over his shoulders to smooth the poncho.

"It is only logical and necessary to don warm gear when one is in such a cold climate." he replied stiffly, unused to the attention.

Uhura herself was given a garishly pink raincoat with a furry trim on the hood, which she was not entirely unsatisfied with (they wore some pretty bright clothes in the 23rd century).

Lauren stepped back, admiring the effect with a critical costumer's eye. Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Uhura looked utterly ridiculous standing in the dreary grey parking lot of the nearly empty shopping center in their gaudy ponchos. "I'm sorry, we were going for flashy and bright with our costume choices." Lauren pursed her lips in an awkward smile. "Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, you may want to un-tuck your pants from the boots – most men don't wear their pants tucked-in in this time period."

As they complied, Lauren consulted her watch. It was 7:40. She still had twenty minutes until school started, and the school building was just across the street. She pulled out some ancient granola bars from her trunk (the only food she had besides her own lunch), and handed Captain Kirk a crinkled ten dollar bill and three ones. There was a McDonald's, a CVS, and a Target in the shopping center, as well as a messy thrift shop. Hopefully they could hunt down something to eat. But Captain Kirk only looked at her incredulously.

"Is this…money?" he asked, closely inspecting the green bills.

"Yes, don't you guys have any sort of money back home?" Lauren furrowed her brows.

"We haven't had to deal with money since before Earth joined the United Federation of Planets." McCoy answered proudly, puffing himself up but only succeeding in looking absurd in his poncho.

While Lauren, Kirk, and McCoy were engaged in a rather long and comical argument/explanation about money, Uhura wiggled into the passenger's seat of the Chevy and tinkered with the radio, flipping stations to try and find something interesting and humming in harmony with any music that came on. Spock had joined her in the car and was looking over his tricorder readings, muttering "Fascinating" under his breath every few moments.

Lauren had finally explained the money issue, and left Captain Kirk with clear instructions to stay in the car except to find food, and to please not drive the car under any circumstances (she had seen enough of his driving in that episode with the 1920s gangsters). Kirk agreed, but he was unaccustomed to being told what to do by a teenage girl, and had no intention to follow all of Lauren's instructions. He had to do whatever it took to reestablish contact with the _Enterprise_ and figure out what went wrong. And get his friends home.

"Wait, before I leave…Mr. Spock, I was wondering if you could help me with a physics problem? I have a test today and I can't seem to come up with the right answer." Lauren had just had a mini panic attack when she once again recalled that she had to take her 2D kinematics test, but then she remembered she had a genius Vulcan from the future at her disposal. She only hoped he wouldn't find her question too dumb.

"I am obliged to assist you in light of the services you have rendered us, Lauren. What is the question?" Spock stood up, as unreadable and impassive as always.

Lauren smiled nervously, flattening her homework on the trunk of her car and circling the problem with a pencil. "So there's a 2 kilogram projectile with an initial velocity of 5.02 meters per second…" Lauren explained the question. "I'm supposed to determine where it will land, and this is the answer I keep getting. My friend Kayla says she came up with a different answer, and the teacher said she was right. I can't tell what I'm doing wrong! I drew a diagram and used this formula…" Lauren indicated on the sheet.

Spock had some familiarity with this old Earth system of units, and had already completed the necessary calculations in his head. "You are innacurate by a power of ten. The problem states that the projectile is initially 20 centimeters above the ground. In order for the equation to turn out the proper answer, you must convert the 20 centimeters to 0.2 meters, in accordance with your standard system of metric units."

Spock was confused when Lauren bludgeoned her own head in response. _I can't believe I was so stupid…_Lauren berated herself.

_Meanwhile (and this time I really do mean meanwhile, as in the same time period), seven Klingons and two human prisoners were coalescing in the backyard of a little old lady just a few miles from Lauren's school._

_Mrs. Gertrude Baskin was scraping congealed cheese off her dishes in a sink full of soapy water when she saw a strange bright flash fill her backyard through the kitchen window. She had two immediate reactions, neither of them savory. The first was something along the lines of "No! I'm not ready to go!" and second was "Those damn neighbor kids! What are they, summoning the devil in my backyard?"_

_Mrs. Baskin slid her bifocals up her nose in order to properly investigate the shenanigans occuring in her yard, and was shocked to see seven strange, alien-looking men pointing what looked like guns at two ordinary people. They seemed to be angry about something, and were apprehending the two men._

So that's it…_she thought_, Those neighbor kids are partaking in some bizarre demon-summoning ritual. Well, I'll be damned if they're going to get away with this under my nose.

_Mrs. Gertrude Baskin did what any sensible woman would upon finding seven armed and aggressive trespassers in her yard, and rang the police. Then she did something decidedly less sensible._

"_Hey, you rotten kids! Get off my lawn!" she yelled at the strange men through the now propped open window._

A/N: I've always thought Spock would be great help with physics, but that I would end up embarrassed by the types of questions I'd ask. Also, I can't tell you how many times I got problems wrong in a physics class just because I forgot to convert centimeters to meters or grams to kilograms XD.


End file.
